Things You Can Control #2

Your attitude.

Maintaining a positive attitude is hard work. Obviously, not everyone can manage to be a ball of sunshine 100% of the time.

But it’s better to try than never at all, right?

Who likes a sour face? Who likes a hot-headed man? Who likes a rude person? Who likes a moper?

Chances are, you don’t really feel comfortable dealing with people like this. It takes a great amount of energy to interact with these people. They’re like soul suckers. They suck the positive out of you and turn you into one of them.

I agree. There’s a lot of shit going on in the world. But there’s also a lot of amazing things going on as well. A lot of chances to be taken.

I’m not saying you should ignore the bad things and live in an ignorant bliss. I’m saying you should acknowledge the positive things and work on how you can spread the love so the bad things could subside in some ways.

Negativity doesn’t pay. Being rude doesn’t pay. Shitting on life (and then don’t do anything to make it better) doesn’t pay.

We live in an ever-changing, ever-improving world. Being a pessimist is a mediocre thing to do. Being rude is a basic thing to do.

Do yourself and the entire universe a favour and control your attitude. Change it if necessary.


Inspired by Ruben Chavez of ThinkGrowProsper.

 

 

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Moonlight.

“From that first moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew I had to spend the rest of my life avoiding you,” He said. She could feel her vibration of his voice through his chest.

“What?” She chuckled.

“The day we met, the day John introduced you to me, I knew there was no way I could hide my feelings. That spark, from the second your eyes meet mine, I knew I wanted to see those eyes every day. From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, for the rest of my life.”

She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked him in the eyes.

“But you… You were with him. I knew I could never be that arsehole, stealing you from him. I would never do that to my best friend.” He looked her in the eyes. Her eyes were like crystals under the moonlight.

“Every time John invited me to hang out with you guys, I would always find some stupid excuse not to. I didn’t want to lead those feelings on. But that didn’t help, did it?” He let out a small laugh. “We’d end up bumping into each other anyway,” He kissed her on the forehead. She closed her eyes feeling his lips so warm and soft.

“All those stories he told me. How amazing you were, how funny you were. They just confirmed what I felt for you,” He took a step back and twirled her and pulled her close to his body again.

“That I love you.” He whispered in her ears. “I loved you so much, I was willing to let you love another man,”

“You’ve never told me this,” she said.

“Some part of me wish I did.” He took a deep breath. Their bodies move so elegantly, in tune with the jazz song playing from an iPhone. “But what matters is we’re here, together. Right now.” He continued.

“I don’t know what to say…” She whispered.

“Then don’t,” He said. “Let’s just enjoy this moment.”


I’m listening to Ed Sheeran’s new song called Perfect and I just had to write something based on it. I’ve been writing fluff a lot this week and it is weeeeird.

I feel like I’m in love but I’m single as fuck. Hahahaha. Okay bye.

Remember.

There was nothing like it.

I’ve never felt anything like it.

The minute my feet parted from the ground, it was amazing.

From the cold breeze to the deafening sounds of the wind crashing through my whole body to the green hills and the blue rocky stream to the blinding rays of the sun to the cotton-like clouds and to the seemingly tiny people waiting for me on the ground, it was enchanting.

If I could live up there, just floating through the sky, I would.

I remember the day vividly.

I remember crashing to the ground and the pain. I remember the thoughts I had. I remember the taste of blood. I remember the smell of cigarettes while waiting for the ambulans.

It’s a day I’ll never forget. It was such a funny day.

Memory.

sonja-langford-314.jpg2 years old. Walked around the house. It was my sister’s birthday and we had neighbours and friends come over to celebrate. I walked over to my father who was sitting on a chair. He fed me with a spoonful of noodles.

4 years old. We were at the supermarket, shopping. I was touching a bunch of things and the next thing I remember was getting my hands yanked and getting scolded. “She touched it!” My sister screamed. On the drive home, I wanted to eat chocolate but was denied. When we got home my hands were washed with mud. When I was older, I was told I touched pork.

6 years old. My sister and I were playing near the small hill at our neighbourhood. Skates and scooters were the rage at the time. I watched as she went down the hill using the scooter so fast and drifted as she hit the brake. I tried it next. I almost face-planted to the gravel.

9 years old. I was at school. The teacher gave our math tests back. I got mine and my mark was lower than my friend’s. The teacher pulled my baby hair and scolded me about my bad marks. My friend laughed at me.

10 years old. My brother bought a new game. The Sims. My sister and I played it like a maniac. We were so obsessed with it. (We still do.)

12 years old. My class was performing in front of the school for the weekly assembly. We prepared for the choral speaking for weeks. There was one part we made fun of our teacher’s signature ‘Aiyoo’ when we don’t understand what she’s teaching us. The whole school laughed.

14 years old. My friends and I performed in front of the class for our teacher’s birthday. I realised the whole class had a WTF face when my friends and I were singing. My friends kept singing and I was miming. I was trying hard not to laugh.

15 years old. Class camping at my house in the ‘middle of nowhere’. We were eating barbequed sausages and chicken wings in the family room. Then we all watched a soap opera on the television. A friend of mine was listening to her radio in the kitchen.

17 years old. Just finished the major exam in every 17-year old’s life in my country. I went home and slept the shit out of myself. Wake up, eat, surfed the web, sleep. This went on for the next 6 months.

19 years old. My friend (also my roommate) and I were running to her car in the middle of the night to hide her portable stove. There was a rumour about a room inspection by the warden (we were not allowed to cook inside our dorm rooms). We went back to our room. I couldn’t sleep for the next hour because of the adrenaline from running.

2o years old. I just lost my cat. I was sitting in front of its lifeless body when my dad came home and saw me sitting on the floor, sobbing. He sat next to me as we said our goodbyes quietly to our cat.

21 years old. Got my first job. It sucked.

22 years old this year. I wonder what kind of memories I will make.

The Cosmos.

nasa-89125

Have you heard the news?

Seven new Earth-size alien planets were discovered!

Quoting the Space.com, “the exoplanets circle the star TRAPPIST-1, which lies just 39 light years from Earth,” Yes! Just 39 light years, peeps.

The fact that they wrote ‘just’ 39 light years is hilarious to me. Nonetheless, this is such an intriguing news.

Somewhere out there, there are planets just the size of Earth. It would take years for the astronomers to figure out more about the planets. For example, does the planets have water or perhaps, living creatures?? Humans? Or ALIENS???

I feel like a little child again reading all these fascinating stories about space.

Believe it or not, I once wanted to be an Astronomer. I was so proud of having this dream too. All my friends were telling generic career dreams like a doctor or a teacher or a policeman. And there I was, smug and all that, saying “I WANT TO BE AN ASTRONOMER!”

Little do I know that it takes so much more than curiosity to be an Astronomer. I never was good at Physics and I was also shit on my other science subjects. Oh well. I’ll always have blogs about space and YouTube. Thanks, Internet.

My love for the cosmos was influenced by my Dad. He wasn’t a science guy but he had a great passion for science. And he is a space enthusiast. He loves to read about space and watches Discovery Channel all the time.

When I was a kid, on our early morning drive to school, he’d tell stories about the enchanting cosmos: about Mars and the possibility of it being our second Earth, about the Sun and its mighty rays. And of course, the favourite of all conspiracy knock heads, the Aliens.

My Dad had a book (which thinking about it now, it was such a bullshit book) about aliens. The book listed types of aliens that ‘existed’. They even had illustrations of these aliens. The green one, the one with a big head, the one that looks like a lizard and one that looks almost like humans.

One day, I decided to bring the book to school to show my friends. I was having fun sharing with them about these weird creatures when the teacher confiscated it! She said it was ‘disrupting study time’. Jokes on you, teacher, because I was the school Prefect and I had ‘access’ to the Discipline Teacher’s room (it’s where they keep all the confiscated stuff). I went there and stole the book back. HAHA.

Anyway, here’s to more discoveries of the strange and magical thing we call Space.

 

 

Hide and Seek.

One of the games I loved to play when I was a kid was hide and seek (who doesn’t, right?). I remember hiding with my sister in the dusty, dark storage room we had in our previous home. My brother came into the room and looked for a while before closing the door again because he didn’t see us. We were hiding behind all those boxes and furniture.

We were giggling and trying not to make any noise. Then, my brother came in again and this time he looked very hard. And he found us. That storage room was the hotspot for a hideout. Whenever we played the game that would be the first place we’d go.

It was such a simple game. A game that I had played a lot in primary school.

In fact, my friends and I made a sort of a hybrid of that game and another game, Tag. We named it “Agent 016”, inspired by a local TV show which was about spies and cops.

The game was simple. You are divided into two groups. There will be an item which you (any of the two teams) will guard. We used rock paper scissors to determine who gets the item first. You must not let the other team get the item so do everything you can to guard it. Run, hide, whatever.

You can imagine the roughhousing involved in this game. We were running and shouting and laughing like a maniac. We’d also do a little misdirection. I remember holding the decoy item while the other teammate runs the other way. We’d play until the bell rings for our after school activities.

One particular day, (And I remember this so well because it was so embarrassing) we were playing it at school. Instead of having lunch like other kids, we were running around the school: up the stairs, to the next block, through the canteen. I was doing some sort of look out from the top of the school block and I saw the other team coming towards us. So I screamed. Like seriously screamed as if I was in the war.

“Look out!” I screamed. Everyone looked at me, including my teammate who then began to run.

The game went on until the bell rang and we went to the hall for assembly (we had assembly before our after-school activities). We sang the national anthem and then the Discipline Teacher went on stage.

“Who was screaming during break hour?” She said.

I knew she was talking about me.

“Please behave yourself when you play on school grounds.” She continued. My friends were looking at me, trying not to laugh. I felt like the whole school was looking at me. They knew it was me. The teachers even saw me. “We had visitors and this is not the way we want our visitors to see our school.”

She paused for a moment.

“Don’t embarrass our school,”

That was probably the last time we played the game. We tried to play it again but it just wasn’t the same. Guess the game had an expiry date.

An Afternoon at the Cafe.

 

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Credit: Seemi Samuel

 

If we were having coffee right now, I will ask you how you’re doing. You’ll tell me you’re doing fine. Both of us will look down on our drinks. I will sip mine and you’ll cough, even though you don’t really need to.

You will look at me, but my eyes are looking some place else. Then, I will look at you, but you are looking at the waiter coming towards our table.

We will give him our orders, I will thank him and you will give him a smile. When he leaves, you will ask me what is going on with my life. I will answer, but only a masked truth. I will put up a facade I want you to believe because the truth is something you don’t want to hear.

And you will nod. Accepting the white lie. You do not question it. And then I will ask you about yours. You will say you’re doing well with your job but only barely. And we will laugh.

And then silence.

We both realise how much we miss each other. Denying the fact that we’ve drifted too far apart. I need to try, we both say in our minds.

You don’t know me and I don’t know you.

Where did it all go wrong?